The Beauty Of Self Acceptance — Why The Real Glow Up Is Internal
For most women, taking pride in our appearance is not done simply for aesthetic purposes — more than that it’s a coat of armour, the way we present ourselves to the world, a visual emphasis of our personality.
In this sense, we put our best foot forward without delving into the depths of vanity, where we align and maintain our appearance while prioritising the internal elements that are of true importance — our standards, values, personality; and ultimately our inner charm and beauty.
Because, while an external glow-up may attract superficial attention, an internal one is what creates lasting changes — fostering healthy relationships, improving confidence and cultivating a strong sense of self.
Beauty without depth is just decoration — Unknown.
Yet, when it comes to improving our appearance, commonly referred to as a glow-up, much of the discourse focuses on external elements like lash lifts, fillers and a host of other treatments but rarely do these address the core misalignment — how one views themselves.
A fundamentally flawed approach as it doesn't address the importance of one's perception. Because, when you change the way you perceive yourself, you change who you are as a person — altering your inner dialogue, the decisions you make, the actions you take, and the way you view yourself; all of which influence and alter your appearance.
Ultimately, a real glow-up goes beyond the external elements incorporating a wholesome approach that adequately prioritises and addresses one's mindset, wellbeing and aesthetic, in that order — all of which work together to influence and enhance one another.
Our self image, strongly held, essentially determines what we become — Maxwell Maltz.
Mindset Matters —
When it comes to aligning our mindset, it’s important to acknowledge how our perception influences our reality; impacting our decisions, actions, thoughts, beliefs and mannerisms. Ultimately, we curate and present ourselves as we believe ourselves to be, making it imperative to ensure our perception serves us.
This is important because our minds can’t tell the difference between a thought and a fact, largely assuming them to be one and the same. Meaning, if it is repeatedly told something by you, it takes this as fact and looks for actions to support this, which we tend to provide — whether positive or negative.
Luckily, a belief is simply a thought we keep thinking making it well within our capacity to change those thoughts and ultimately our beliefs. Of course, this takes time and consistency but with awareness and dedication, your can change both your perception and reality.
Reflection and self-awareness are essential here so as to identify and reframe any limiting beliefs, whereby the following can be a useful framework to implement —
Consider if your limiting beliefs are true.
Identify where you picked up these beliefs.
Outline uplifting alternative beliefs that challenge the limiting ones.
Acknowledge evidence to support reframed beliefs — actions & others.
Implement actions that support the new beliefs as part of your reality.
In doing this, we begin shifting our perception ultimately reframing how we view ourselves & the world at large. Yet, to fully encompass the improved version of ourselves, we must also identify the type of person we want to become where we acknowledge what’s required to be them and begin acting accordingly.
Usually, this ideal self is a culmination of the attributes we admire in others, also an embodiment of the person our younger self needed — alongside the person we need to become to heal, evolve and move forward. In some sense, this may require us to alchemise the insecurities we have long held into elements we appreciate, it may also require shifts in the way we conduct ourselves.
Simply, in everything you do, consider — would my ideal self do this? If the answer is no, cease & recalibrate. If the answer is yes, continue on.
In doing this, we may not notice drastic changes within our appearance immediately, instead experiencing alignment within our energy and perception — where in better nourishing and understanding yourself you become grounded in confidence not riddled with insecurity, which is far more attractive.
As a result, you’re no longer ‘glowing up’ to be accepted by others or for external validation but to genuinely nourish yourself where your appearance naturally improves due to healthier decisions and perception changes.
A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly; if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely — Roald Dahl
Wellbeing Wonders —
Within this mindset shift, you experience a recalibration in values — where you naturally make healthier choices, not from a state of self-loathing but self love. As a result, you notice things you previously hadn’t thought much of whether it be not feeling right when you eat certain foods, realising how people affect you energetically, or fluctuations in your health dependent on your cycle — all of which is wise insight to be acknowledged and addressed.
Of course, with any ailment or health related concerns, it’s imperative to work with a practitioner who can help you treat the root cause. Because, the fact is our health reflects the state of ourselves, showing us what areas of our lives and wellbeing require extra attention.
You can begin prioritising your health with the following actions —
Going for a check up, getting a full blood count.
Learning about your hormonal rhythms (approx. 28 days for women, 24 hours for men).
Working with a functional practitioner, ideally one who educates you not simply diagnoses.
Learning about how to take care of your health — mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually.
In my opinion, both working with a practitioner and educating yourself on topics related to health, especially certain elements that will affect you (e.g. if you’re a woman, your cycle) is essential to properly nourishing the relationship you have with your body — as this allows you to connect to it intuitively while also working with a practitioner who can help you understand the messages your body is sending while providing a sense of direction.
Aside from the above, simple steps can be taken that provide exemplary results, including —
Committing to a significant time without alcohol, minimising it overall.
Prioritising nutrient-dense whole foods, and avoiding processed foods.
Minimising seed oils, which can be replaced with coconut oil, olive oil or butter.
Optimising your gut health, check for sibo, candida or leaky gut, etc.
Mindful movement, following an exercise routine while also listening to your body.
Prioritising adequate rest via. sleep, solitude, time for rest & relaxation.
Boundaries with social media inc. who you follow, content you engage with & time spent using.
Breath work including diaphragmatic breathing & pranayama breathing.
Learn about your infradian cycle, cycle phases, hormonal changes, etc.
In optimising your physical health it’s also important to align your mental, emotional and spiritual wellbeing too — misalignment with these areas impacts our physical wellbeing and appearance; much like our physical wellbeing impacts our mental, emotional and spiritual health.
Meaning, identify, minimise or shift your perception toward anything that’s providing you stress or turmoil. Of course, some stress is positive as it helps you grow and evolve. However, too much of it can stagnate our growth and overwhelm us. Therefore, to achieve some semblance of equilibrium, evaluate your life including everything from your state of health, relationships, work and what have you to see what needs to be removed or maximised.
Ultimately, much of this comes back to having standards for both yourself and others. As our standards set the stage for how we will be treated, will treat others and ultimately the results we experience. In enforcing these standards, it’s important to realise that if someone doesn’t align with them it doesn’t necessarily make them a bad person, it just means they’re not your type of person.
Elevating Aesthetics —
Now, with the foundations of our mindset & wellbeing addressed, we can then look to adjust the physical elements — which I’ve found naturally unfolds in a more harmonious manner as you align your mindset and wellbeing.
Because as you become more grounded within yourself, you become aware of things that you enjoy and styles that showcase your beliefs and preferences. Further, we tend to alchemise our perception toward our insecurities seeing them not as something to condemn but as elements we appreciate and emphasise.
A variety of tools and techniques can be employed to naturally enhance one's appearance including —
Incorporating natural skincare alternatives, regular facials.
Utilising face yoga, a jade roller or gua Shua, promotes lymphatic draining.
Regular haircuts, to keep tidy which can also be aligned with seasonal shifts.
Keeping your nails clean and manicured, can be done either at a salon or at home
Dry body brushing, helps remove dead skin and promotes detoxing and lymphatic drainage.
Red light therapy and led light masks to help your skin and minimise fine lines and blemishes.
Saunas and cold plunge type therapies, to help alkaline and detox the body.
Natural alternatives for treatments including — clay face masks, eggs hair masks etc.
Swapping out clothing made of synthetic materials for natural fibres — cotton, linen, silk, wool, etc.
Of course, you don’t need to implement all of the above, they are merely suggestions. Personally, I’ve found a balanced approach to be most sustainable where, for example, I’ll use essential oils for my daily scent but keep a bottle of Chanel Mademoiselle for social occasions.
As a general outline, look to replace skincare and makeup products with as many natural alternatives as possible. Also, look to adorn yourself with natural fibres including silk, linen, cotton, wool etc. Not only are both of these better for your health and the environment but with natural clothing specifically, these materials are higher quality and last longer.
When it comes to cultivating your personal style, it’s essential to first understand what works best for you — which clothes are you naturally drawn to, what styles inspire you, what elements and designs you enjoy, and what outfits you get the most compliments in.
To answer the above questions, consider the following to help you cultivate your style —
Your body type — Various methods are used to classify body types — soma-types, kibbie, body shape figures, etc. Regardless of which you use, identifying your body type can help you know which items are better suited for you and help you identify those you prefer.
Who inspires you — Narrow down your preferences by looking to those whose style you naturally gravitate toward. Source via. pinterest, fashion blogs, movies & pages of fashion influencers.
Curate your wardrobe — A curated wardrobe is one where each piece is chosen with intention. Ideally, these are quality pieces that resonate with you, mix well with other items you own and will last years. As someone who enjoys thrifting, a curated wardrobe is my preferred choice — where items tell a story not necessarily fit a fashion type, where you can mix and match your outfits depending on the event and mood.
Avoid trends — In cultivating your personal style you will no longer be at the whim of fashion trends. The fact is trends are short-lived dictated usually by the media/designers and should be avoided unless you truly enjoy them and they suit your personality.
Consider your lifestyle — Dressing for your day-to-day activities will help you refine your personal style and ensure comfort and confidence in your outfit. Whether you’re in the corporate world and always travelling or you work from home or are a stay-at-home Mum your style should reflect this for both comfort and ease of dressing. A caveat however is that you can also use your style to help you move in the direction of the lifestyle you wish to have by dressing as your ideal self would.
Embrace your features — In cultivating your personal style, it should be just that — personal. And one of the best ways to do this is to enhance and embrace your personal features. Whether you have freckles, wavy hair or any stand-out features given to you by your ancestors, these should be embraced and enhance your style.
Ultimately, when it comes to a lasting glow up, it’s imperative to address not only the external changes but the internal elements that directly impact how we perceive ourselves. Because when you change the way you view yourself you change your beliefs, habits and actions — ultimately changing yourself as a person.
In this sense, you no longer look to improve your appearance from a place of self-loathing but from the perspective of self-love, where you actively look to nourish and nurture yourself because you know you deserve it. Naturally, as you take care of your health mentally and physically — your body thrives, and your appearance reflects this accordingly.
Recommended Reading —
L’ art de la Simplicity by Dominique Loreau
Lessons of Madame Chic by Jennifer Brown
Womens Wellness Wisdom by Dr Libby Weaver
Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz